Sarah Smiles (Awhile)

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Books: Fat Girl Walking

Bathtime

What seems like an eternity ago, I came across a blog on the innernette.  I shall link to that particular blog post, because it still makes me laugh out loud to this day, and when I introduce friends to this person it’s still the post I share.  Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce: BRITTANY GIBBONS, of Brittany, Herself.

By now you may have seen Brittany on any number of television shows, such as the Today Show, Dr. Oz, or Steve Harvey. What she’s plugging on these shows, is not her book, but body confidence in all.  The book is just gravy.

I’ve read the book, in the bath tub (as seen above, notably between shaving my legs and using my full body strength to shred my nasty feet of dry skin) and at the pool.  I’m sure when I read it in public people thought I was in need of medication, because I was displaying the full range of emotions within about 2 minutes, page after page.  This book is so honest and raw, so touching, so funny, and so full of love.

Here’s the honest truth: I was struggling.  I had gained weight, lots of it, and was at my highest point.  I had become uncomfortable in my own skin.  I couldn’t look in the mirror.  My sex life was dwindling- not because my husband was less attracted to me, but because I was so afraid of that happening that I didn’t want to let him see me. Even my familial relationships and friendships were effected.  I didn’t want to see people I hadn’t seen in a long time because I didn’t want to be seen at all.  So I avoided going home for visits, or if I did go home, I didn’t want to go to local stores or restaurants for fear of running into people.  Honestly, I didn’t want to be seen.  I didn’t feel worthy of being seen.  I was so afraid of being judged, of being F-A-T.

I had taken to only wearing sweatpants and very large mens’ sized tee shirts.  I didn’t even want to leave the house most of the time. It had gotten really, REALLY bad.  I remember the day that I found Brittany’s blog, the one that I linked to above.  I remember seeing her headshot on the top, and thinking how pretty she was.

I thought, ‘Ugh, but she’s probably one of those skinny beauties who I will have nothing more in common with, and who won’t know anything about my struggles‘.

But I Googled her.  And I found her TED Talk.

Mind.  Blown.

She was like me.  She wasn’t some prim and perfect supermodel that I couldn’t relate to in any way.  She was a human.  I was hooked from then on.  I connected to her on social media, she is SUPER approachable.  I joined a group she had created, and found an entire community of women who felt like me.  Even though we all weren’t the same, different sizes, lifestyles, families, etc.  But there was a common bond, and through that group and Brittany, herself (see what I did there? 😉 ) I changed my own mind.  I began to look for things that made me feel good, “despite” my weight.  And I did that until “despite” wasn’t an issue.  I simply felt good.  And when I felt good, things changed.  I started doing more for myself:  makeup, clothing, working out.  Life was better.

Life is still getting better.

I’m down 40 pounds from where I was when I found Brittany, but I’m still that same person sometimes.  And when that happens, I have support to help me through it.  And now I have support I can carry in a bag with me: The book.

I feel like I might be a smidge biased, as I do consider Brittany a personal friend now, but I know I’d have loved this book regardless.  If you’re struggling with loving yourself for whatever reason, or you just want a good laugh, give the book a read.  I think you’ll find something to connect with in it no matter what your size.

Fat Girl Walking by Brittany Gibbons

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Ollo

I figured I should start this off with a sort of introduction. But I’m terrible with introductions and talking about myself and all that jazz.

So this will be short.
And basically a copy of the ‘About’ page.

There is no rhyme or reason to this blog. It will likely rarely be updated and possibly less frequently shared. I have a terrible track record with blogs.
My intent is to simply put whatever I feel like it here. Some times that will mean a music review, sometimes cooking stuff and food porn, some times product reviews, some times personal stuff. Basically there is no particular theme. So like it or lump it.

And now, I’d just like you to know a little something about me:

My name is Sarah.  Obviously. That is why this blog is titled “Sarah Smiles (Awhile)”.

I tend to use the art (music, paintings, writings, etc) of others to express my own depth and individuality. o.O

I come up with extensive plans and ideas in the shower; which unfortunately happens to be the place where I can’t utilize pen and paper, or an electronic recording device to memorialize them. 😦

I am amused by comedy that presses an issue for an awkwardly long amount of time. 😀

I love Robert Downey Jr. ❤

Smile

So. There’s that. I hope anyone who reads this enjoys whatever else they might read here.